Wednesday, May 23, 2012

**DON'T LOOK ** if you have a weak stomach. Determination to get this tumor out once and for all!!!

As promised, here are the pictures from my journey with black salve.  Black salve is a herbal based treatment that has been around for thousands of years by use with Native American Indians. Black Salve is said to have anti-cancer properties. It has been known as an  “escharotic”, which literally means, it creates an “eschar” (a piece of dead tissue). In cases of skin cancer treatment using the Black Salve, the belief is that the eschar is the dead tumor. After treatment, the eschar will be expelled by natural body processes over a short time (usually within 5 – 14 days even if the tumor is quite deep). So those who have been following me know that something like this is right up my alley. I didn't dive into this blind, I had some guidance from Dr Rau in Switzerland but since it was new to him I contacted Dr. Adrian Jones in Australia, who has a great amount of experience with black salve.

I captured as much as the journey as I could but i didn't get a picture every step of the way so I will do my best to explain whats going on. I started on December 10th and continued until about the end of January. The pics are all of my armpit.....according to my brother, the professional photographer, I took the pics too close up and it is not always clear what body part you are looking at. So if your armpit it is!!! Here goes......

Here is the original tumor/swollen lymph node...about the size of a golf ball.

another shot of the original tumor

Let the journey begin...... applying the black salve. Tingly feeling but not pain per say

Holy Sh*t!!! Its working!! An eschar (scab) is forming!! Note :this is like a day after first application

The first "birth" of dead cancer...very exciting moment.
(about a 2 days after application)

Same as above, just flipped on "dry" side

Yup thats the tumor exposed...I just wanted to rip it out!!

Chunk of dead cancer that came out

Bits of cancer debris that literally just spewed out after I put some pressure on the site

Lots of blood and draining

After another application, things are a bit stuck

Just three days after the above picture, amazing how fast it heals

This is when the pain begins.......I was advised to put the salve on continuously to get the deep rooted tumor. As you can see from the picture it became very swollen and was trying to surface

Pieces of dead cancer that came off the bandage

Amazing how beautifully it heals after it is so raw and open

I know!!! Nasty as all hell!! I dont have to explain how painful this was...the picture says it all. This is when the cancer was really surfacing and trying to break off

And breaking off it is......

side profile.....the cancer separating from my skin

Big chunk expelled. Mike put his hand to show size

Other side of tumor, we call it the "oyster." LOL sorry if you like oysters and it ruins your appetite for them

Healing pretty well, no more black on right side of down, one more to go

The skin grows back within days...incredible. tumor still exposed. at this point i have dreams of myself cutting it out with a kitchen knife....luckily I didn't go insane enough to actually carry through.

After another application, another bis piece fell off (didn't get a pic). Tumor is considerably smaller at this point.

Healing, skin is pretty raw and inflamed. The thought of reapplying make me weak and nauseous. The tumor is stuck and tugging on lymph nodes underneath. According to Dr. Adrian Jones i would have to reapply everyday to get the root of this thing out. I'm very anti pain medication and the thought of having to take around the clock percocets doesn't sit right with me. Without pain medication there is no way i could survive despite my VERY high tolerance for pain.
The above picture is not the latest. The site looks very good with a very small black looking scab.

I'm very happy I used black salve and have no regrets. However due to the size and how deep rooted the tumor was it was pretty grueling. I would for sure use salve for a small lesion or tumor. I have my little container waiting just in case.

With much thought, research, consulting, and contemplation, I decided to go for surgery. The lymph node swollen underneath (that was new with the use of salve) freaked me out. However, the way it was explained to me by holistic docs and Fred was that the lymph system was backed up due to trying to get rid of this cancerous tissue. Due to the lymph being blocked the fluid was building up in my lymph system causing the lymph nodes to becomes inflamed (not necessarily cancerous). That definatly put my mind at ease. So anyways, yesterday I had whatever was effected taken out. Dr Beg agreed to just take out what was wreaking havoc and maintain as much tissue and mobility that he can. The surgery was in and out...took about three hours. I have a small drain to get rid of any excess blood. Tomorrow I will go to Dr. Beg and get the drain removed and a bandage change. Pathology reports in about a week to see what exactly were in those bastards.

Not that I want to jinx myself but I feel absolutely fine and like I didn't even have surgery. Yesterday was a fine day but I figured the anesthesia didn't wear off yet and the pain would come. However I'm still in no pain or discomfort, despite not taking a lick of medication. We had a nice day of watching movies and playing my favorite.....scrabble. Mike and I set up the bed with all the pillows to ensure I was upright and comfy but I wound up just sleeping normal all curled up. I had a great night sleep and woke up because I was feeling energetic. So I write some emails and texts and hit the sack again.  Could it be that I feel more enegetic now that that dead tumor is no longer blocking my lymph system? If so that would be incredible! I woke up this morning and went to the gym because I had great energy. I figured it would be good to work out and get the lymph moving.  I know I know.....dont worry ...I just did the bike and some leg presses. I am absolutely fine to even go back to work today but you could just imagine the whispers I get from my darling husband, parents, etc......"just rest, take it easy".... So I guess one day of that wont drive me too crazy. So tomorrow, or maybe even later, back to work I go.

Hopefully the salve pics didn't make you too weak and horrified.

Strength and peace,



Monday, May 7, 2012

I wish people knew what I knew...

Okay, so I went to Philadelphia to the cancer treatment center of america and as much as I wasn’t impressed I don’t want to say the place was horrible. After two solid years of doing hardcore holistic and integrative approach, an offering of being blasted with chemo with a side of a little acupuncture and reiki is not my idea of holistic or integrative treatment. These cancer hospitals are funny…they know how to work it and market themselves. We had up to a 6 night stay in a Radisson for a one time fee of 75 bucks and all three meals were included for myself and my caregiver. A plus is that they offered good quality food, such as green juices made to order, healthy grains, and coconut water. But they also had there share of crappy foods such as chips, bacon, cookies, pizza, etc. If you require a flight for transportation that is paid as well for both you and your caretaker and you are picked up from the airport in a limo with the CTCA logo on the side door (of course). Which is a little strange but I guess for people who are scared out of their wits this could be an added bonus and mask the stress for a quick minute. So all in all it was a traditional cancer hospital with a whole bunch of fluff.
As for my personal experience, every doctor that came across me didn’t know who the patient was…me or my mom. They were all shocked in how good I looked and said that they were expecting a different “look” based on all the reports they received and the fact that I had my
spleen removed 6 months ago. I was encouraged to get a pet scan to get an idea of where my body is at. I reluctantly agreed, was injected with the radioactive glucose, and underwent a stupid pet scan. The results were completely energy sucking and frightening. Every other sentence in the report had “likely metastasis, suspected metastasis, etc.” It took me a couple of minutes to realize I was falling under their ‘lets scare these people into chemo tactics’ and came to my
senses and remembered all that I learned about how false these pet scans are. Basically the SUV (sugar uptake value) is what needs to be looked at and if it is above 12 there is something going on that needs attention, however even in this case it could be inflammation or infection rather than cancer. If the SUV is a number as low as 2 it is nothing to even being concerned about. The average Joe could have a pet scan and have several ‘light ups’ with a low SUV. This is what I
learned from being in Switzerland and from Fred (Cellect) but of course the cancer hospitals say an SUV above 2 is worrisome, which is plain old bullshit. But the kicker about my pet scan was they actually noted that I had my ovaries, my uterus, and my gallbladder taken out. Hello???? I have all three of these and if they don’t know what is even inside my body how the hell would I trust their reports of what is going on inside my body?? Anyway the areas that lit up were by my
abdominal area (pancreas, liver) and when I spoke to Fred he explained that this was because I just had my spleen removed and inflammation is to be expected and will probably take up to 6 years to fully heal. It also noted that the area under my arm (the black slave area) is necrotic (aka dead.) However they still said it is dangerous and it could spread and yada yada. Hello once again???? It’s dead!!!!! Do they ever focus on the positive and let people know the good things without turning it into a gut wrenching scary moment? So once I got the pet scan results I was a little frazzled but then I centered myself and recalled all I learned and focused on how Im feeling, my energy, how I look, and that I know for damn sure that this cancer in my body is dead. Once I reviewed my scans with Fred I felt much better because he pointed out all the bogus crap they write in these scan reports and gave me a different twist on what’s really going on inside my body that made much more sense to what the cancer center was telling me.

So as I mentioned last post, my main reason for the visit was to inquire about getting surgery. When I met with the surgeon he initially said since the cancer is systemic it is not suggested to get surgery. However, he then examined the area, took one look at it and said he thinks this would be an exception and should come out. Hmmm….interesting, maybe because he knows its dead??!! He even said when showing me the images of my scan on the computer, that the one under my arm is necrotic (dead) but stated that this is not necessarily a good thing as it could get ugly and spread. He did not agree to go easy and only take out the nodes that were affected and
said he has to take out lymph node strands 1 and 2. He said this is for my own good. Oh okay Mr. Surgeon, removing most of my lymph nodes under my arm and a bunch of tissue and leaving me with lymphedema and frozen shoulder is for my own good? Thanks for looking out Mr.Surgeon…or not!!!!

It dawned on me that I should give Dr. Beg, my original surgeon, who I trust and feel comfortable with, a ring to see if I could get an appointment. Sure enough I got an appointment that same day, left Philly, and met with him. Within seconds, he took a look of the area and agreed to take the tumor and only what was affected out. We made an agreement that if he sees anything else that look suspicious and has to come out once he is in there that I would allow for him to take it out. I said by all means and that I just want whatever is black out. So no regrets to going to Philly as whatever takes place along the way is what makes this journey the educational journey this is. However, I could have went right back to my original source, Dr Beg, and got what I wanted without a trip to PA. So my surgery is scheduled for May 22nd at Northshore Manhasset. It will be an in and out surgery and according to Dr. Beg nothing compared to a lymph node dissection.

I’m super happy to get it removed because my lymph system is being blocked right now because of all the deadness and we need to have that lymph pumping and working to its best ability. However, going under the knife always has the chance of new complications and I’m not looking forward to another beautiful scar but it is what it is. This whole journey, I followed my heart and my gut and I know its leading me in the right direction. And as far as this surgery, I just know that it’s the right thing to do to get me that much closer to remission.

Also, I spoke to Dr Rau in Switzerland and he is on board that I get the surgery, however feels I should come there for intense treatment for immune system up building and to help the healing process soon after the surgery. So not only will I be getting the surgery I will also be going back to Switzerland in June sometime.

We had the Long Island run this weekend. Mike, my parents, and my amazing friends and family were there to support!! It was invigorating and inspiring as usual. May 20th we have the 5k melanoma walk/run in Eisenhower Park. You can choose to run the 3 miles or walk it. For more information go to . The more people there the more support I have….. so come join us if you can!!!!!

Other than that things are going well and I’m just looking forward to all that the remainder of the spring and summer have to offer.

Oh, and black slave pics to come soon.

Peace and strength,