Its been awhile since my last post and so many are contacting me to see how I am doing. Thank you for your concern and well wishes. Like in most of our lives, cancer diagnosis or not, a lot has been going on. Hurricane Sandy for starters!!!! Thinking back I don't even know what I've been up to...time just flies!!!! My 30th birthday was in September and the celebrations were all weekend long. My parents and Mike had a surprise birthday party for me, Mike took me out east to the wineries overnight, and then I had another surprise party with all my family. I couldn't have thought of another way I would have liked to spend my birthday. To say the least my birthday was emotional. Not because I turned 30 but because birthdays are now always emotionally. When you have a cancer diagnosis or an illness birthdays are a reminder that you survived yet another year and you treasure the memories you made that much more. When your doctor is hesitant to tell you how many more months or years you are going to live it alludes to the fact that it wont be very long. Well its been four years and I'm still here and not going anywhere. The emotional birthdays stem from appreciation and gratitude that I was led down the path I was....giving me a better prognosis and letting me continue to live.
This February will be four years since that dreadful day I was diagnosed. I cant even believe it has been four years. Initially I was in some sort of denial about the seriousness of my cancer, then it hits you and you are overwhelmed, depressed and like "why me?" Then the fight mode sets in, you stop pitying yourself and you become determined to do whatever it is to help yourself and kill the cancer. Determined I was!!! I did everything and anything that would destroy my cancer cells. It was trial and error.....I first listened to my doctors like a good little girl then I began rebelling to do some "outside of the box" treatments. I'm thankful that I chose the path of rebeliion as I know 98% that I would not be here updating this blog if I succumbed to conventional treatments without any diet changes or alternative treatments.
God only knows how long my body has been sick and cancer cells were taking over. Initially those symptoms are getting sick often (low immune system), weakness and fatigue then when the cancer really takes over the symptoms are more apparent externally such as enlarged lymph nodes and pale coloring. Just like it took time, like my whole life, for the cancer to take over, it takes time to rebuild the body on a cellular level. By taking cellect , changing my diet, and doing all the other natural treatments, I started rebuilding my body one cell at a time. We have so many freaken cells that this takes a long time and patience is required. Not only does the cells have to rebuilt but your emotional state has to also heal. Any trauma requires healing and for our heart and soul to deepen to a new level of awareness and understanding. So, four years later, I am at a very different place. I came to terms with the fact that I have cancer and I know that my body continues to heal and that complete remission is going to take longer than expected and will require a life long dedication to optimal health and nutrition. Fortunately, I don't perceive this as an inconvenience but rather a blessing. It led me to be healthier and focus on what really matters in life rather than materialistic things and nonsense.
So do you wonder how I have been feeling? I'm doing pretty good energy wise. I am no longer fatigue like I used to be. My blood work is great which is a very important indicator in the world of cancer. My biggest complaint as of lately is that I have been having trouble with my shoulder ever since I had an invasive lymph node dissection and my arm was blasted with radiation (if i could just turn back the clocks.......) I went to physical therapy three times a week for years resulting in a slight improvement. I tried acupuncture, massage therapy, electric stimulation machines, pretty much anything I could find to alleviate my shoulder issues. In the summer, I began having severe pain in my shoulder where I could barely use it. I went to several orthopedic oncologists who indicated that I have a tumor in my bone marrow. This tumor is pressing on my bone causing it to fracture which quite clearly explains the excruciating pain I have been in. So, the orthopedic oncologist suggested two different types of VERY invasive and horrific surgeries. As of right now its a no brainer....absolutely not unless it becomes last resort in the future. So there are several other treatments that we are looking into that could be beneficial. My friend Beth, who now rests in peace, had a magnetic frequency machine that she purchased from Switzerland. Keith, her amazing husband, was nice enough to allow me to borrow it. Since using this machine I have been feeling 70% better!!! I know part of it has to do with Beth being present and offering me healing energy. :) Then I spoke to Fred the other day at the cellect support group, and he is convinced that the pain and dysfunction in my shoulder is due to a blockage (pinched nerve etc). My myofascia release therapist also agrees with this explaining that the pathways can be blocked resulting in the shoulder not receiving what it needs to. Its funny because I feel like my shoulder is dead, okay maybe use of the word "turned off" would be more optimistic. It actually feels as though it is not receiving what it needs to. Decision making is not my forte. Which can be a good thing because what if i just opted to get such a scary and invasive surgery when a series of gentle chiropractic or myofascia release visits can release my shoulder pain?!!!
Ill keep you posted....
Before ending, I would like to say that my heart goes out to all those effected by Hurricane Sandy, especially those people that I know personally. I still cant get over the fact that this horrific Hurricane occurred in my own backyard. It is very scary and mind boggling how our weather patterns are changing so much that they are putting us at danger. There are many parts of Long Island that look like a war zone. So scary and sad.......I lost power for 8 days and dealt with all the inconveniences such as long gas lines and hostile people that most people dealt with. However, I consider that nothing and am fortunate that all my family and anybody I know was not physically harmed by the hurricane. I cant even imagine the anger and trauma that so many people went through in the past month since Sandy. Luckily, with all the resources being offered people will be able to rebuild their lives, and not lose sight of the most important thing, that no matter what we have to deal with in life, we can rebuild and repair and one day look back and remember it as a passing nightmare. As long as we have love, family and support we got it all!!!
I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving and hope that people take the time to express or think about what they are really thankful for in their life.
Strength, peace, and love,