It's amazing how time flies.... May is already here. I don't even know where I left off in my last post. Oh wait, yes I do....those were the days of black salve. I was applying it pretty often and sure enough chunks of the tumor were being discarded. I know.... gross but truly fascinating!!! It was getting smaller and smaller but the pain was getting worse and worse. I had no choice but to take the pain meds to dull the pain but with pharma drugs comes other problems. After all I've been through, pain is something I could handle and the same goes with taking pain meds. However, since lymph nodes are like a string of pearls, the vacuuming out of the enlarged lymph node caused the attached lymph node to become inflamed. I cant explain the emotional turmoil of when you feel an enlarged lymph node/tumor, especially a new one. You dont know whats going on....if we just had a camera to see whats going on in our systems...but no such luck with that. So of course you freak out and think the worse but luckily the positive person I am, realized that it's most definitely inflammation from the black salve literally sucking out the cancer. Needless to say it freaked me out and between the immense pain associated with using the salve (because the tumor is larger than a quarter) and the new "pop up", I decided to look into possible surgery of getting the tumor removed. It is a purplish black color that I truly believe it is dead. Back from my visit to Switzerland, I know that my lymph system is clogged and I have to get things moving in there. A clogged lymph system not only makes it much more difficult for the immune system to fight but it also bogs down the system and wipes me out. Plus we cant forget that Im spleenless which makes the other filtering systems work that much harder. Having this area, that my body is very ferociously trying to fight, removed will give my body the opportunity to put its fighting skills on other areas of my body that needs attention.
Due to all the stress from being weak and not knowing what the future entails, I just been in a rut. Not eating and exercising the way I should. Don't get me wrong my diet is very restricted compared to how it use to be prior to cancer but not as strict as I should be. I mean to get to remission I have to stay focused and take the diet very serious. I have a very strong sensitivity to wheat, yeast, sugar, and cow milk products yet I've been consuming them here and there. My body then becomes that more stressed and fatigued and the vicious cycle continues. I felt my best when I avoided all these foods. My body had the opportunity to fight the cancer rather than food sensitivities. It's amazing how quick the body gets addicted to these crappy foods despite our body practically begging us to eat more clean and more active. So back on track I will be. Exercise as well....it is SOOOOO critical for our body to function correctly. I know I feel better when I exercise its just the time trying to squeeze it in. Ive been getting creative... walking with the boys at work (they could use it too :) .
Other than getting back on track with my diet, I continue being diligent about my weekly medical treatments. Its a lot and also very time consuming. I have a weekly vitamin drip that takes anywhere from 2 to 4 hours, acupuncture, lymphatic massage, and its really important that I make time for epson salt baths, my rebounder, and my hwave machine for my bached up shoulder). Tomorrow until Wednesday my mama and I will be going to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Philadelphia (Yup the one always advertised on tv) for a consultation on whether or not I should opt for surgery on this tumor. I want the surgery but I want to dictate how I want things done. In the world of surgeons and egos this is not an easy task. But hey its my body and I worked to damn hard to get where Im at and I dont want anyone messing with what they dont have to mess with. Apparently they are a conventional hospital with a more holistic and individualistic approach. I'm going there with a realistic mindset and am aware that it could be one big marketing ploy. I'm looking to get the least invasive surgery possible. I fear surgery considering my last lymph node surgery left me with 20+ less lymph node, horrid frozen shoulder and lymphedema. Luckily my healing toolbox is bigger and better and I now have the knowledge and resources to combat any side effects that might occur.
Life can be so frustrated because each and every one of us has our struggles and our "when the hell is this going to get better" moments but the bottom line is ... It's all in our attitude. Positive things happen to positive people. Sometimes we just have to step outside of our comfort zones and think the impossible and just make it happen!!! So, my friends, here I am in project remission at FULL FORCE. My attitude has always been positive but like any human being I have my moments of vulnerability and weakness. But here I am, in the rink with my quite tough looking pink boxing gloves, ready to take this cancer down once and for all.
I have dreams about the huge celebration we will have when the day finally arrives. Literally......the last dream was at a celebration carnival with all fun games and circus animals and all good wholesome foods substituting the normal sugary high fructose corn syrup crap at fun places. Fresh popcorn with olive oil and sea salt, cacao covered fruit, roasted chestnuts, homemade organic fruit sorbets, okay and gelato (Im sorry just a little)!!! As for cotton candy.....I cant...its just plain old evil.
Mike and I were able to escape to Florida for a little while, it was nice to get away and enjoy eachothers company. We experienced the new rides such as Harry Potter and The Simpsons At Universal!!! We love our roller coasters !! I could have used a couple of more days of R & R, hopefully my mom and I will have the opportunity for this in Philly. Our annual long island run is on May 6th and the CCMAC melanoma walk is on May 20th. Both are at Eisenhower Park. It would mean so much if you joined us in our efforts to support my natural fight against melanoma. Let me know if you want to join!!!! To donate go to www.ncrf.org and hit the donate button. In the next post, I will include the images (as promised) of my black salve experience. As you will see a lot of the tumor came out. Do not look if you have a weak stomach!!!
Much thanks for your continued support,
Peace and Optimism,