Adding a Little "Black" to the Holidays

Hi loves doves!! I cant believe the holiday season is here again. Since my return from Switzerland all has been going well for the most part. Other then fatigued I feel okay. My other results such as heavy metals and digestion came back from Switzerland. My results were emailed to me and both improved from my last visit. However one test did not improve and that was the test that depicts whether your current diet is cancer friendly or not. Although I am still in a decent range my score went up 50 points which means that my diet has been slacking. My first two visits to Switzerland my diet was on point....all veggies, lots of raw, no bread, and hardly no dairy. Over the past couple of months my emotions got the best of me and i have been justifying that its okay to indulge once in while as "after all I've been through...I deserve it." BULLSHIT.....hello Lisa you have stage IV cancer there is no time for these damaging justifications. Its incredible how much better you feel and look when your are eating a whole food organic diet and how sluggish you feel when you add those yummy yet evil gluten and dairy contained foods. After all, I know now that this cancer was created from within, from a lack of nutrients, from an incredibly crappy diet lifestyle in my child/teenage years. So in order to kill it and keep it away the diet and healthy habits must be a lifestyle not a Lisa fad.

One of my pet peeves...."Melanoma is caused from the sun" UGH!! That statement drives me up a wall!! Okay, yes ozone layer depletion and repetitive sun frying of the skin is not good for the human skin and could be a factor in causing melanoma but it is not the SOLE factor. The sun is crucial for healthy living...studies show that people who are vitamin D deficient (from lack of sun) and that don't get enough time in the sun have more likelihood of developing skin cancer.

Bottom line is that the skin is the largest organ of human detoxification. Sweat glands eliminate all that nastiness and toxins in our system. That's why exercise is so good....you sweat...and all those toxins escape. If these wastes are not removed and are hanging out at the surface of the skin they damage the skin tissue....altering beauty marks and what not and ultimately developing skin cancer. Our DNA is increasingly becoming more exposed to damaging molecules from the obscene amount of chemicals in our food, household supplies, the water we drink, beauty products, the electromagnetic environment etc. Our bodies organs become extremely overwhelmed with this altered blue print and they no longer have the equipment to fight off these foreign toxins. The most annoying part is a majority of melanoma foundations promote staying out of the sun and slathering yourself with sunscreen. It is found that some of these sunscreens cause cancer!!! Many sunscreens contain a potent free radical that is activated by sunlight that is know as a cancer causing agent. Other sunscreens actually are absorbed through the skin and damage skin tissue and organs. I'm so glad that my melanoma 12 years ago was treated with a wide excision and the good old advice about staying out of the sun and slathering up on the sunscreen. Thanks Doc, I appreciate you causing me to be MORE at risk of my melanoma returning rather than preventing it. Please, don't take this info wrong....the sun is good for us but in MODERATION. No burning or peeling should occur. Sunscreen should be used but the good ones.

As I mentioned in my last post, I have had to make the tough and scary decision in whether I should give black salve a try. With much research and contemplation I decided to go for it. What do I have to lose? Nada that's for sure. If you know me you know that I'm up for everything and anything to get rid of this cancer. Even if it means I'm going to have a huge open wound for quite some time.

BLACK SALVE (aka BLACK).....What is it?

Its been around for a really long time. Actually several people have said to me, including my mother, "oh, my father (or grandmother/father) used to use that." Despite its much success it has been a controversial topic,due to politics, in the most recent decades. The use and promoting of black salve has cost many people their reputations, freedom, livelihood, and even their life. Any testing or studies that have been done on it are obsolete today. Why? because it showed extensive success and global governments made sure they got rid of this evidence so their sick civilians turned to conventional means of treatment instead. Actually, the place where Dr Rau got this, a Dr in Australia, was forced to stop selling it two days after I started using it. If he didnt he faced a fine of $2,750,000 and/or 5 years imprisonment.

Its ingredients vary by creator but the most common is blood root and a zinc base. Other natural herbal remedies are used within the salve. When using it you rub a thin layer onto the external skin of the tumor and an eschar ....aka dead tissue...will form within a couple of days. By a natural body process this piece of dead tissue will be expelled from the body and fall off. The idea is that surgery is not required and that the tumor will push out of the body on its own. Do I completely believe it? Who knows!!

Sounds some life science fiction/alien crap right? Well here is how it works....

At this point, due to lack of funding for research, its completely not certain how it works but here is the hypothetical explanations of the magic of "black".

Black is absorbed across dermal strata, which means that its gets to the deepest layer of skin. It appears to be a catalyst in mediating an immune

response ( inflammation that is rich in white blood cells, T cells, and macrophage). This helps break down and destroy the cancer cells. So basically the black triggers the immune system to focus on the area where the cancer is and do what the immune system does best....KILL the bad guys and protect the good guys.

My Experience thus far with Black.....

Dr. Rau sent me home with a small container of black salve...see pic above. Yes, I know it says "animal use only." Don't freak out...this is for legal reasons and having to be careful with choice of wording for the seller/creator to not get sued or arrested for that matter. My first application was on 12/10/11. I applied approximately at 9:30 pm...a thin layer of the black paste was applied to my very irritated and swollen enlarged lymph node under my arm pit. It immediately started tingling. That evening there was not much sleep....it was not painful just very uncomfortable. The rule of thumb is you leave the paste on for 24 hours and then remove and let the immune system take over.

On 12/11/11 I kept busy and tried to keep my mind off of it. The stinging is pretty intense but nothing that cant be handled. I had dinner at my in-laws that night and felt like crawling out of my own skin. It was getting more intense and I was having these sharp zings every so often. 9:30 pm could come soon enough. Mike rubbed off the black and it was crazy....just like in the pics I saw when researching....an eschar (scab) with all puss around it formed. It was working!!!!! The next couple of days I continued to get those zings but there was no discomfort or pain once the black was removed. Several days later the puscular (not sure if I made up that word) scab fell of which left the very ugly black tumor exposed. I just wanted to squeeze it out like a big juicy pimple but considering it is a solid mass there would be no such luck. Over the next couple of days I didn't feel or see much of a change so I decided to add more. Ugh that hurt like a bitch because the tumor was exposed and i know had an open wound. I succumbed to taking a pain killer and tried to keep my mind on getting ready for Christmas. Again after the 24 hour removal, a large puscular scab formed. There was an insane amount of swelling around the site into my shoulder and my breast. The swelling alone and all the pressure it created was more uncomfortable then anything else. But I was happy as I knew all that fluid was what carried the white blood cells and all those t cells that would destroy the cancer and expell it from my body. Bring the fluid on!!! The past couple of days there has been lots of oozing and grossness and this morning I woke up to the eschar falling off. It contained a nice chunk of my dead black tumor and left the rest of it exposed once again. So I know its working. I'm unsure if the tumor will eventually come out on its own after two applications or if it only expells when it is connected to the eschar (scab) that forms. I will wait a couple of days and if I see no activity I know that I will have to continue to reapply until we keep on chipping away at this black iceberg.

As you know my ultrasound in Switzerland showed no spot on my liver. If this is defintely the case, then the tumor exposed to black is the only one left. Which is pretty f*cking exciting!!! As hard as it is and nothing about this long exhausting fight being easy for me and those closest to me, I'm almost there. Black has always been one of my favorite colors and as gross as it is...Im a big fan of witnessing things being expelled from my body ( blackheads, pimples, ingrown toenails) so I guess this treatment method is fitting for me.

I wish everyone a happy holiday and hope people get to enjoy the real point of the holidays....spending time with the people you love in your life and appreciating life's joyous ways. Dont get bogged down with the stress of the holidays and keep in mind what really matters.

As for you Santa,

Please bring me happiness, the strength and willpower to eat a wholesome diet and remission. Despite wanting a new pair of shades, a new pocket book, and a infrared sauna, all I REALLY want is my health back and the freedom to move on and enjoy all the beauty life has to offer.

I will leave you vegan oatmeal flaxseed cookies and a glass of vanilla almond milk. Oh and some nice carrots and some alkaline water for your four legged helpers.

Love,

Lisa



When will this chapter close?

Im still here in Switzerland. I was hoping that this would be my last visit to the klinik but it just doesn't look that way. Im not sure if its a security thing coming back here and getting everything done under one roof or what. I always tend to be overly optimistic which is good to a certain degree but I tend to think that I will get results that all is perfect and Im fine. My definition of fine obviously is cancer free and free of any lumps and bumps. So no such luck because at this point I still have this very annoying constant cancer reminding tumor under my armpit and it still shows melanoma. So that fear of the cancer taking over the body once again makes me feel anxious if i was not to return and to just trust my gut.

Optimism? It is how one looks at it because I have to remember where I started.....the cancer metastasized in nearly a year after being diagnosed to my liver, spleen, hip bone, paratracheal nodes, lungs, and auxilla lymph nodes. Now all cleared except the one under my arm and the small spot on the liver which is inconclusive as it showed up on my pet scan but not on the ultrasound. so all in all that is huge progress and I am very thankful for that. I also was so sick to the point where my energy plummeted, my hair was breaking off by touch, and I felt sickly like my body was failing. I no longer have any of that which all is a good sign that my body is on track to optimum health and wellness.  Also the bottom line is that a diagnosis of stage IV melanoma very rarely allows one to live longer than 1-4 years! Im still here and feeling pretty damn healthy which in itself is something to be optimistic about!!

My test results thus far vary but for the most part have improved. My blood work according to the doctors is better then it ever has been. They indicated that my blood is doing MUCH better with my spleen gone. My zinc level continues to be low so I will be taking extra zinc and they will try and figure out why it is that Im not absorbing zinc very well. My lymphocyte test, which monitors my immune system and how the mistletoe injections are working, showed that my natural killers improved. My defending cells are also more balanced however there is room for improvement. My thermomography also showed decent results...my hormones are better balanced and my lymph system improved since my last visit. My digestive track could continue to use some work according to the thermomography. One of the big tests for melanoma is measuring Protein S100, which is the tumor marker for melanoma specifically. Its currently at 1.30 which is lower than my last visit but higher than my first. A normal range (a person without melanoma) is 0.2 and it could go as high as 10 in really severe cases of metastasis. So in a nutshell those tests that came back have all showed an improvement or stayed the same which in the world of cancer is HUGE. Im awaiting results from my food intolerance test, heavy metal toxicity, fatty acids test, and the test that determines if my current diet is cancer or non-cancer friendly.  

As for my biggest and most annoying indicator of melanoma.....the tumor under my arm. I have been having daily injections directly into it of a low dose chemo and other homeopathic therapies on a daily basis. I also have the not so pleasure of having ozone injected into it. AHHHH!!! Painful as all hell!!! It became very swollen and was "talking" as I say. Luckily it only last a little while and was more tolerable after some time. The decision that now needs to be made is whether or not I am going to have it removed surgically or try the black salve. Basically, all these injections are helping to kill it but it could be that it always remains there even is it has died off. This is because it becomes similar to scar tissue and the body does not break it down. So this is the reason I decided that it is coming out....I just have to sit with it for a little and decide which method to use to eliminate it.

Call me crazy but I really feel that it is going to be one big ball of necrosis (deadness). Melanoma is a systemic cancer. So even though I am focusing on this tumor (hard not to) my body is showing good results systemically (good blood, improved tumor marker, improved lymph system). So this to me is something to stay focused on!!! As Dr. Rau says the less masses in the body the easier to heal the body. So now I, little Miss indecisive, has to make a very difficult decision to get this thing out of my body.

Hyperthermia time!!!

My hyperthermia went quite well. I reached 102.2 fever which is pretty good (highest allowed is 104). This time around was not as psychologically distressing as the other times I was in the heat box when I was thinking absolute craziness. I actually studied for a big exam I have coming up while I was contained in the tight space. Not too bad.

Im so ready for this all to be a distant memory...Im SO ready to move on and just continue living a happy and fulfilled life.  Im fortunate to have learned as much as I have from this journey, changed my lifestyle, and that Im still alive. I know that my current chapter is not only building the foundation for my future chapters but its is also helping shape my life story.

Strength, Love, and Appreciation,

LiSa

So much to be thankful for....

Well here I am in Switzerland for Thanksgiving. Luckily the hustle and bustle with the busy schedule at the klinik today kept me busy, but this evening thinking about Mike and everyone back at home gathering around to celebrate the holiday made me a little melancholy. As much as it would be wonderful to be home for the holiday I am very happy and fortunate to be here getting the treatments I need to rid this cancer.

I have been undergoing vitamin infusions with many different holistic remedies on a daily basis along with ozone intravenously. The ozone creates a very weird feeling very suddenly....like an elephant is standing on your chest and you need to gasp for air. Luckily it is something that only last for 15 minutes or so but it brings me back to my asthma attack days and that fear of not being able to breathe. I also have several magnetic treatments that basically balance out the magnetic elements in the body. The areas that are affected or diseased have an unproportionate of paramagnetic elements and these magnetic devices relieve the pain or the issue. I also have been getting a lot of deep muscle work done on my shoulder to break up the crazy degree of tightness and  the thick amount of scar tissue. My therapist said my skin around my scapula is like "stone" and boy did he dig at it for a whole hour. It was a relief to soften it up a bit but I will be sore tomorrow for sure.

Regarding my current tumors, I have the same two at the moment....the one in the liver and the one under my arm. However, according to my ultrasound today the one in the liver was not visible. This is good news in that it cant be too big but there is still a possibility that it just was in a spot that was not visible via ultrasound. As for the one under my arm, it shows that the tumor in the lymphnode is secluded from the tissue under my arm. The reason this is important is it can be removed without affecting other lymph nodes and cutting deep under the tissue. So it is an idea I am bouncing around but I rather not subject myself to the knife of a conventional oncologists. Hate to say it ....I just dont trust if they will go ahead and take out more than necessary once I am knocked out on anesthesia. Also, I dont even know if they would be in agreement as it is not protocol to remove a tumor once the cancer has metasisized to other organs in the body. Plus the tumor has a medium vascular rate according to the ultrasound which shows that it is still cancerous and it may be best to try and kill off the cancer cells before messing with surgery.

BLACK SALVE.....here goes....its a natural drawing agent that literally will suck out the cancer/tumor. All Dr. Rau had to do was mention that he did it for another patient and he had success and I have been asking him to let me give it a try. It would be applied on to the skin of the tumor site and after some time it will begin to draw the tumor closer and closer to the surface until it begins to break the skin and literally fall out. It will leave an open wound and be pretty gross to look at for some time. It sounds crazy and I dont know what to expect really....will it just roll out and drop on the floor or something? Will I have to go into the open wound and take it out? Dr. Rau sounds like he wants to try it on me but has reservations about the open wound it will leave. He said only heroic people could try black salve... He said I was a good candidate but I figured I would continue to prove my heroism when I told him I was injecting my tumor at home to withdraw blood. I thought he was going to say I was crazy and get upset with me. Well crazy he thought I was but he said it was good that I did and said it was good blood came out as this means "good luck." His theory is that blood from a tumor is a good sign that is dying off. Im not certain what we will do....we will make a decision on Monday if I will begin the black salve. Its best if I try it here because I know myself....once something is placed in this head of mine....I will get my hands on some black salve in the states and try it on my own. Its either that or taking a knife to this damn thing and cutting it out one of these days. Just kidding....well kinda...

Its funny....when I was younger and thought about what I was thankful for it was always the cliche responses....family, friends, food, a house to live in, etc. While all those things listed are still things I am still very much thankful for, its just different since having a diagnosis of cancer. I came to appreciate things at a whole different level. Each and every day is different and I am so thankful to still be here. But that of course is obvious and a no brainer. Things that use to stress me and frustrate me no longer do. I have a better understanding of 'everything happens for a reason' and people come and go from our lives for a reason. I now am able to just glance around nature and escape my thoughts and just focus on the beauty in front of me.  There is no point to think about the what if's. So rather focus on the what ifs, I will focus on the "thank gods." Thank god for this opportunity to go through this journey of cancer. It sounds ridiculous but it is the truth. I had the pleasure to meet such wonderful people who are also battling such horrific diseases as well as those people helping cure others. Thank god for Fred and Cellect. Thank god for Dr Stills for all her help and for recommending Dr Rau and the Paracelsus Klinik.  I thank god for being SO incredibly fortunate to have found an alternative route to treating the body systemically.  Not only has all I learned on this journey been priceless but the changes that I made along the way are only going to better my future. Yes a lot of change has taken place...with change comes a lot of pain and turmoil ......but in the end it creates a stronger and more knowledagble me and makes my relationships with those that mean the world to me stronger.

I am so thankful to have such an incredible support system to aid me in this fight against melanoma. Believe me, I have met many people along my journey and they dont all have such an amazing support system that I have been so fortunate to have. I know that most of the battle is up to me but if I didnt have that encourgement and support from Mike, my parents, my brothers, my family, and all those of you who have been here along the way I couldnt have came as far as I have. For that I am thankful.  

As for tomorrow....I am not very thankful.....my fifth time in the hyperthermia.... aka the human heat box. So nerve racking!!! I will be in a totally closed box (okay with a very small window of ventilation ) of a total of four hours. During my last visits I had some crazy (somewhat appropriate) and scary thoughts when I was in that thing.  You never know where the "heat box" is going to bring your psychological psyche......Im a fighter and will be fine but wish me luck !!!!   :/

Happy Thanksgiving!! Have some stuffing, sweet potatoes, string beans, cornbread, and antipasto for me!!!

Much Thanks, Peace, and Love,

LiSa

Third time is a charm

Hi ! Not only am I back to blogging, I am also back in the wonderful world of Switzerland. My mother and arrived yesterday for my third go-around here at the Paracelsus Klinik. Since my last trip a lot has gone on.....my exhaustion was so extreme that I was sleeping more than 12 hours at times and If my life schedule allowed me too I would be sleeping all day long. It winded up that the intensive treatment caused my spleen to get bombarded with cleaning out all those dead cells. The already existing spleen tumor kept getting larger and larger causing my spleen to rupture. So I had the splenectemy and have spent the last couple of months recovering. However, I felt that I had energy back and I no longer had to sleep as much so I thought that was an incredible sign. I felt so well that I contemplated not returning to Paracelsus and having the money spent elsewhere and just being home and spending time with that darling husband of mine. Plus, at first I thought being away for Thanksgiving would be no biggie but as the time got closer I realized how much I will miss being with Mike and our families for the holiday. Plus my brother Anthony and Dana just had my second niece. Being home to hold a newborn and play with my neice sounds a hell of a lot more enticing then being a human pin cushion and being nuked in a big oven box.  However with some "family talks" I decided it would be best to come back and have another round of intensity and blow this cancer out of my body.  I also needed to finish up my dental work and still have not found a great natural dentist in the states that I could trust in building the 2 bridges that I need to repair my removed root canals.

Im VERY happy that I decided to return....heres why....

I went for my pet scan on 11/11/11 , figuring those numbers had to pull me luck and be somewhat on my side, and the results were no where near optimum. Optimum = no more cancer that is.... As much as I learned to take these tests with a grain of salt as they are super sensitive and pick up all metabolic activity, it is still frustrating to not see what you want to see. Basically, the tumor under my left arm has increased in size as well as the liver tumor. Then it reads  that there is "hypermetabolic activity" in my left breast, pancreas, and in my leg bones. Now, since I just had my spleen taking out it is not surprising that the liver would be stressed out as it is taking over for the spleen and will need some time to adjust. Also, the tumor under my arm has changed very much and appears as though it trying to filter out alot of cancer cells. It is very purple and red and still feels as though it has broken apart.  It has a higher SUV (sugar uptake value) which means that its probable that it has more cancer cells in it, meaning that my lymph system is trying to filter out the cancer cells. However they could be dead just trying to be pushed out of my body. Thats the problem pet scans do not show dead cancer. In regard to the other "hypermetabolic activity" going on elsewhere in the body, it could very well be the body's normal response to working all out after a surgery. It is natural to have a lot of inflammation, hence "hypermetabolic activity", after a surgery never mind after the removal of a critical organ.

My doctors here in Switzerland expressed concern of the indicators of an increase in tumor size as well as the hypermetabolic activity that was noted, but also warned me against the false positives that pet scans show. So far they only have my darkfield (microscopic testing) to look at my current situaion....which indicated that I have a lot of "crystals" which means there is a lot of acidity (can be from my diet not being what it should be), that I have balloon shaped cells which means that my liver is stressed, and that my digestion has improved a great deal.

I knew in my heart that I should'nt have gotten the pet scan as I just knew it was too soon after having such a big surgery and the radiologists have a grand time with reading those reports once they hear a cancer diagnosis. Any little thing that "lights up" is deemed as a metasisis when it could very well be a simple infection or inflammation. Completely insane!! Not only was it to soon after my surgery, there is just no point to them. There are other ways to see what is going on in my body naturally and being injected with that glucose and radioactive toxicity seems to defeat the purpose of all I have been doing for my health. So for now on , unless something makes me change my mind, I am sticking to ultrasounds, thermographies, and the less invasive tests such as ct scans and MRI's.  

Yes I am a disappointed as well as frustrated hearing the results of my pet scan as well as finding out that I am increasingly more acidic, but I am optimistic. I know that other than some sharp pains by my incision site, I feel really good and sometimes you just have to listen to your body rather than depend on all these test results. I am eager to know how my blood work is as that will also help to understand whats going on  in this body of mine. Im.....hmmmm.....I dont know how to explain it.....I guess fed up with the cancer fighting game. Its not that Im scared as I just know in my heart that everything is contained in there and it is just trying to work itself out. Is it crazy that I feel that way? Am I being to optimistic? Either way, Im a fighter and the day where Im in remission will eventually come and boy are we going to all have a big bash.

Yesterday was an intense day of treatments from 7am to 5:30 and today I was at the klinik bright and early to see Dr. Rau (6:45) and then had again a full day of treatments. I will update tonight or tomorrow about the specifics of my day.

PeAcE, LoVe, and HeAlTh,

xoxo

LiSa

Let that loving light shine through!!!

 A little over two weeks from getting my "football" (aka my spleen) removed, and my recovery is going great. If you didnt look at my very large and quite ugly incision site on my belly you would never even know I had surgery two weeks ago. I was in the hospital week #1 and home relaxing week #2 but I could have honestly been back at work Wednesday of last week. I decided to take the rest of the week and the weekend to just clear my head and continue relaxing. Life has been crazy and I have been nonstop for the past three years that I figured being home for a week with my thoughts and tending to my body cant do anything but help me. I am up and about walking around completely fine. I was even able to hop up on my counter top to reach my yummy treats that are on the very top shelf of my closet. I know I know.....I shouldnt have done  that but I hopped up and down pretty gently. lol

Dont get me wrong...I am still healing and having pain here and there. Its basically the tightness around the incision site and the discomfort with the many staples pulling and grabbing my skin. Since I am most comfortable sleeping on my left side, the side I am very sore and inflamed on, sleep has been pretty uncomfortable.  I stopped taking the pain meds because I was feeling melancholy and having digestion issues. I began taking my cellect again as I was waiting for the nausea to pass. Since that dose of cellect the pain has been minimal and my digestion is back on track.

One would normally think "Oh that stinks that the spleen had to come out" but let me tell you, it was a blessing in disguise. Truly. As I mentioned in previous posts my exhaustion for the past 6 months has been insane. It was at the point that normal activities became a chore and I could literally sleep 24 hours straight if my life allowed me to. Since my football size spleen was removed, I have felt so different....more alert.....raring to go rather than sit around. Despite having a pretty big surgery, I have not had that desire to crawl in bed and sleep the day away like I did for the months previously. 

A little bit about the spleen.....its suppose to be the size of a fist. Mine was the size of a football!!!! What does the good old spleen do? It filters the blood and removes OLD and DAMAGED cells, bacteria, and other debiris. It also creates white blood cells that assist the immune system. What causes a spleen to enlarge? If it is asked to do excessive work in filtering or making blood cells or if it is INVADED with ABNORMAL CELLS or DEPOSITS. What are the side effects of an enlarged spleen? weakness (check), fatigue (check), infection, presses up against the diaphragm causing pain to the left shoulder (check), push toward the stomach causing getting a full feeling quickly (check),  likeliness of spleen rupturing and causing bleeding into  the abdomen (check)  and more likely to become ruptured if injured.

In my sneaky and manipulative ways I received my pathology report. ( The hospitals pathology department indicated that they cant send the report directly to me and they could only send it to my doctor....so like a good patient I gave my Doctors name but just gave my parents fax number. I know,  Im bad.... but HELLO??!!! Its my body and I have every right to look at my own results. My mama and I went to Fred today to have it checked out.

A nonconventional interpretation of the pathology report from my now missing spleen:

Since the spleen is a filter it contained all the dead cancer cells that my body has been trying to get rid of for the past three years. It showed that the tumor was necrotic aka DEAD. To be exact it read "abundant necrosis present." The DNA of the cells contained markers for melanoma but they were dying off. Any incorrect cells in our body will show up in the blood despite if the cell is dead or not. Fred indicated that it was evident that my enlarged tumor was due to infection and not cancer metastasis. He says this because splitting of an area means that there is an infection because the infection keeps growing and growing in the location its in. On the other hand if it was cancer, considering cancer is cells, they would move around the body and invade the other areas or organs of the body (metastasis). Yes it has been good that I went to Switzerland for biological intense treatment and have been taking cellect but truth of the matter was that all that treatment at once was too much for my body to handle, thus causing the spleen to become overwhelmed, get clogged, and lose its ability to keep up with all the filtering of the dead cells. As a result the infection of all that toxic debris

A non-conventional interpretation of the Ct Scan results


Three areas were of focus....the spleen of course, the liver, and the left lymph nodes under my armpit. The spleen indicated that there was bleeding and as it spoke about the tumor it stated "hypodensity" which Fred says is good news. He explained that hypodensity means low density and non-active which if it was active cancer it would read "hypERdensity." The liver shows a 1.5 cm "spot" which decreased in size from my last test. This area is also noted on the ct scan as "hypodense" which means it is likely a cyst. The final area was the lymphnodes...it stated that there was lymphadenopathy (infection of the lymph) or metastatic deposits ( metastasis cancer died off and trying to be filtered through the lymph system). Basically my lymph  system was completely clogged and sluggish due to the overwhelming deadness in my spleen, which is a very big part of the lymph system. Since these lymph nodes are palpable I could feel the change and the once large solid mass under my arm changing.....it is now several small softer lumps. I could actually feel the tumor breaking up and dying off. Fred said now that all the toxicity in my spleen is gone ,the lymph system will improve a great deal. Which means that it will be able to filter out these "dead metastatic deposits." He said exercise will benefit stimulating my lymph system and finally get rid of those annoying lumps under my arm. If thats not motivation to get back into the gym I dont what is!!!

I know this was a lot but basically what it all means is that the tumor in the spleen was dead and was proof of all I have been doing for the past couple years has worked and is killing off this melanoma. The only two areas noted on the scan is the left armpit lymph nodes and my liver which both are not even of concern as they are getting smaller which means that they are dying.  
I feel great, happier and more alive since that very toxic football sized organ was taking out of me. Who would think that having such an invasive and big surgery would be a turning point and shine that much needed light into my world.

Monday evening I go to my surgical oncologist to get these very annoying and horror - movie - like staples out. I will also bring my results and am very curious how he, as a conventional oncologist, will interpret the results. If he agrees that things are looking good Im golden. However even if he disagrees with Fred, which I expect, I know to take it with a grain of salt and remember the mindset of doctors and the large pressure they have to cover their asses.

A special thanks to my Mike, my mother, my father, and my family and friends for supporting my decision to take the "alternative" route. Truly, this  is a path that is very difficult if you are not backed up by those that you love and who you very much respect their opinion. I hate to even think about it but if I did what the conventional docs suggested who knows where I would be today, I dont think here...thats for sure.

PeAcE, LoVe, & ThAnKs,

LiSa   

29 candles, Months of the blues, and Spleenless in Boston

A little over a week ago I had my 29th birthday, As it was approaching I wasn't in the mood to do much of any celebrating. Luckily, I got in my normal "Yay its my birthday" mode and celebrated. It was different then normal...it was more for doing for me and meeting my needs then my normal feeling of needing to be with everyone.  I went for a morning birthday massage, a mani and pedi with a foot massage, worked out, and of course whats a birthday without a little shopping. Then I went out with Mike and the family for Greek food in good old Astoria ...my absolute favorite!!  I, of course, celebrated all week long going to dinner or lunch with different people in my life. Birthdays are different now-more emotional. Rather than it being about where to go and what to do it becomes a day to reflect about life and what a birthday really means.

As I mentioned before I really wasn't in birthday gear and ready to celebrate. The past, hmmmmm ...I don't know...., five to six months have been rough. A time that I hope is behind me like a horrid nightmare and won't ever return. That strong grasp I knew I had on life and on my emotions was slipping. It was this period of darkness that I knew was going to end but not sure when and how the hell I was going to get out of it. My normal strength, positive thoughts and will to fight were slipping and slipping fast. Despite trying to keep the fight up I felt like I was being blown over by the strongest and nastiest gust of wind and I was just losing the strength to keep myself from allowing me to get knocked over. A lot was going on...the cancer was changing things in my life, some for the better and some things I didn't want to change. There are those things that are comforting that we like just the way they are and then when change has to happen it can hit us hard.  Believe me a lot of changes are for the better but there are also things of your "old life" that you miss and wish you don't have to change. On top of it I lost both of my maternal grandparents, who were both a very big part of my life, in a matter of months. Relationships that were once my everything and my normal way of doing things had to be reassessed. My desire to keep on working versus taking care of myself was a constant battle. If I work, am I giving the best to the kids and the team I work with? With working... was I doing all I can do to heal myself of the cancer?

I also haven't been feeling well at all....Ive been weak and EXTREMELY tired. The word tired cant even capture how I felt the last couple of months. The way I thought of it was my body was working overtime and clearing out these cancer cells and killing these tumors. I figured my body needed more sleep so if I fell asleep at 7:30 pm and didn't wake up until 10 am I figured my body must desperately need to rest. I felt the more sleep I got the more I needed. On top of it I had these random abdominal pains, which led me to the emergency room on two occasions. The first occasion they said they didn't see anything noticeably wrong and sent me home and the second they indicated the tumor on the spleen increased and that my spleen hemorrhaged. However,  they indicated it was no longer an issue as the blood was dry therefore no longer bleeding. I consulted with Fred (Cellect) who suggested that this was very likely the tumor on my spleen falling off causing the bleeding. He also said that the increase in the tumor size could be due to all the cleansing that my body was doing to try and get rid of the cancer. Based on Fred's opinion and the fact that my blood levels were fine, I continued on my normal regiment.  Although the pains subsided for  months afterward, they continued from time to time. My bi-monthly blood work showed all numbers were in an appropriate range so I went on with everyday living.

Mike and I decided to take off a week to do special little trips for my birthday. We decided to go visit our friends in Boston. Other than my normal tiredness, day #1 went well. We drove up to Boston and had a nice dinner with my bestie Emily and Dave and had a comfy sleep in the Marriott. Then day #2 we woke up with plans to go for a run with Emily. I knew that wasn't happening because I was having difficulty breathing and had a very uncomfortable, full feeling. I  walked behind the two runners. Despite a little discomfort, at least I got some exercise in. Playing the normal Dr. Lisa that I like to play from time to time, I figured since I did did not take cod liver oil pills with my Cellect (like I normally do in the morning) I was having issues with gas and bloating. I had sharp pains in my stomach but continued hoping it was going to pass like it normally does. I went to Whole Foods and bought the cod liver oil pills. Tried to put my attention on site- seeing and shopping (of course) in Boston... but the pain was getting worse. I mentioned it quite a bit to Emily and Mike but not even nearly as much as I wanted to. I didn't want to complain too much but the pain just couldn't keep me quiet. We were having a low key night and having pizza and drink at Emily and Dave's apartment with Marina and James. I remember James and Marina walking in the apartment and I was preparing some veggies and dip. I was talking to Marina who I haven't seen in awhile... trying so hard to take my mind away from the incredible pain and focus on what she was saying. I couldn't do it anymore, I was doubled over in pain. I laid on Em and Dave's bed and couldn't get comfortable.  I was sweating and having shooting pains up my left shoulder.  Mike decided I needed to go to the ER and see what was going on. Luckily, Em works as a manager in the ED in Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, which is only a couple of blocks away from her apartment. She got me in the Emergency Room and, like magic, they took care of the pain.

They knew right away that something was seriously wrong. They did a bedside ultrasound and saw a lot of blood in my stomach and my spleen was extremely large. The CT scan that they did showed that the tumor in my spleen was so large it was taking up the entire size of my spleen, causing it to stretch to an uncomfortable position. The spleen ripped causing blood to pool in my stomach.  My hemocrit was low. They told me that I would have to be admitted because of the seriousness of the bleeding.
They initially performed a procedure microscopically... where they sealed the leaking area to stop the bleeding.  Being completely out of it, I was under the impression that if I did this procedure I would not need my spleen removed. The pain was still considerable. To my surprise, they told me the following day that it was important for me to get the spleen removed because the spleen would wind up dying anyway now that it had no blood supply. They, of course, said how critical it would be to get the tumor out as well. They removed my spleen and the very large tumor (8cm) Saturday night.

I'm recovering now...in quite a bit of pain. I'm eagerly awaiting the pathology results to know exactly what was going on in the tumor/spleen. Fred, as well as my doctors in Switzerland, believe that based on pure science, the spleen tumor could be cancer cells that were dying off. We will see....

I was supposed to get my pet scan on Friday to see where everything stands but I'm obviously postponing that. My main areas of concern were the spleen (no more !!!!) and my left lymph node. My left lymph node has been shrinking before my eyes. It may have something with me deciding to inject it with an empty syringe one day and pulling back on the syringe and a whole bunch of blood came out!!! I repeated it four times and initially it got swollen but with time it got much smaller. I know I know...you all think I'm crazy but Dr. Rau did this in Switzerland and I don't know why but something just made me do it.  Blood coming out of a tumor is a good sign...means its dying. So....the armpit lymph node tumor is much smaller, the spleen tumor is GONE, and there is a tiny spot on the liver that has been steadily decreasing in size.

Ugh I just had a horrid pain episode; they boosted my pain meds...Thank God!! You all know Im not a fan of pain meds so you could have imagined the extent of the pain.


PeAcE, SmIlEs, and StReNgTh,

xoxo

Lisa

Second stay in Switzerland in a NuT ShELL!

I know, I know, I know.....I have been quite the slacker this time around with keeping up with my blogging. It goes hand in hand with my recent feelings of wanting to move on from this cancer world. I still feel so strongly about getting the word out about my unconventional path of battling cancer the biological way. I just have to make my days about other things other than cancer, which unfortunatley does not leave as much time for the blogging..

This stay around has been great. My mom and I leave to go home tomorrow so at this point I am done with all my treatments and will be on a flight home to good old NY in the morning. So what has went on at the klinik in the past two weeks, you ask? Quite a bit. I had similar treatments to my stay in the winter which include whole body hyperthermia, infusions, injections into the tumor, magnetic field therapy, local hyperthermia to tumor locations, myo reflex massage for my frozen shoulder, dental work, live cell injections. If curious, my past posts from Jan/Feb says what these are in more detail.

Dr. Rau injected the tumors under my armpit, in the lymph nodes everyday. There are two and both are smaller than my last stay here. When he went to one inject of them with his cocktail of mistletoe and low dose chemo and out of routine he pulled back on the syringe and a bunch of blood and other fluid was drawn out. What does this mean? That the tumor was dying and it instantly became squished. He continued inject the lymph node everyday so at this point in time it is quite swollen. Therefore its hard to guage how big it is but he is feeling pretty good about it. The other tumor under my armpit (also in a lymph node) is also swollen from injections but Dr. Rau sees through ultrasound that most of this tumor looks necrotic (dead). 

As for the liver, the tumor on my liver is small and "stable." Dr. Rau gave me daily fresh cell injections for my liver as well as my spleen. This will hopefully replensih the cells in these organs and give them thw boost they need to replenish. Both Dr. Pleus and Dr. Rau dont seem to be worried about the last tumor, the one on my spleen. I was having severe pain in this area prior to coming here and they agree with Fred (cellect) that the spleen tumor was hemorraging because it is "falling" off the spleen aka dying. Dr. Rau also said that since my last trip they gave me so many treatments to build my immune system and since the spleens job is to get rid of all the garbage in the body it is quite normal for anyone who is battling a disease to have an enlarged spleen. He said it very rare people really have metasases in the spleen and he thinks it simply the spleen doing its thing. At this point my spleen is my largest "tumor" so this was very exciting for me to hear. 

So at this point, the two lymph nodes, the spleen, and the liver are whats left and with the exception of the spleen, all are smaller compared to my stay here in the winter. The bone cancer in my hip and the spots on my lungs are no longer EXISTENT. 

As far as my other results, most tests are not back yet and will hopefully have them within the next couple of weeks. However, my blood continues to look great. All my levels are pretty good and looking like my immune system is doing much better. My natural killer cells had a slight increase which is good. I still have a blocked lymphatic system and need to continue to try and work on stimulating my lymph system. However my lymph system also improved since my last stay. The tests regarding my diet and its impact on the cancer also came out good. It showed that my diet has been very good and not feeding the cancer.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I had severe tooth pain and had to get my tooth extracted because the roots were completely dead and wreaking havoc in my system. Literally!!! Guess what meridian the tooth I had to get removed  was? MY SPLEEN!!! This merdian also effects the lmyphatic system. So now that the decaying tooth was removed, my spleen and lymph system should improve. That is not a coincidence!!! It just so happens that my tooth and my spleen start giving me pain at the same time. Who knows which caused what but they were both giving me signs that something was wrong and this tooth had to go. So for now I have a gaping hole in my mouth until my bone heals and I could have another tooth put in. Hopefully my next visit to good old Paracelsus, I will have the rest of the dental work done. The relation of whats going on in our teeth and how it effects our bodies systemically is astonishing. Truly incredible.....you should hear some of these stories of people having instant symptoms after they get conventional dental work done. They have the metal and foregin items taking out of their mouth and they instantly start gaining their health and baseline back. Its all based on the energy that is exudited throughout the different meridians.

So overall, I feel very positive and was giving great feedback regarding the cancer basically dying and my immune system getting stronger and stronger. If it wasnt for the tumors that show up in those four spots on the ct/pet scans, my blood work and any of these other tests would not indicate a person with cancer or one at risk for cancer. There is a huge sense of security and comfort with the treatment they do here at Paracelus. It is nothing like you could ever imagine and what we are used to in the states or in any other conventional hospital. Dr. Rau came in specifically for me and a few others on Sunday to give us an extra injection and infusions to get the most out of our visit. Actually his wife who is a nurse came along to adminster the infusions when her husband did the injections. Thats just unheard of!!! Then today Dr. Rau noticed my mom's basal cell on her nose (which she was supposed to have removed a year ago!) and pulled her aside and said he must inject it and give her a cream that would prevent her from having to have surgery. He did it free of charge too. Truth has it is that friends we made, who are very friendly with Dr. Rau and that we were talking baout my mom's basal cell with,  gave him a little whisper that my mom had this basal on her nose. He said he noticed it when the sun was glistening on her nose but truth is that our friends told him about it. lol....he is very sweet...

So all in all it was a positive trip and we are all packed and ready to go. My mom and I took the time to relax, going on little adventures here and there as energy permitted. We also met an amazing group of strong and resilient people. People from all walks of life .... I was able to walk away learning something from all of them. Between the Swiss chocolate and my three month supply of medications, our luggages are busting at the seams. LOL, it should be an interesting journey back home.  Please feel free to email me, facebook me, or comment with any questions or curiosities. I will be sure to answer.

StreNgTh, LovE, and, SmiLEs,

Lisa

Round two in Switzerland

Me and my Mama :)

Hello from this beautiful, yet rainy,  greenery in Switzerland. Alot different from the snowy hills and mountains from my last stay in February. Its round two at the Paracelsus Klinic!!! For those of you that dont know from my previous posts, the klinik offers biological treatments for diseases from cancer, chronic fatigue, MS, heart conditions to general detoxing. My mom and I embarked here on our journey on Friday and arrived on Saturday. Boy, I forgot how intense it is to be here. Dont get me wrong I am happy to be  here but you forget how taxing it is both emotionally and physically. So far I had a busy couple of days of all the same treatments as last time......oxygen, vitamin infusions, intravenous oxygen, magnetic field treatment, local hyperthermia, and all the testing. The testing included comprehensive blood work, a thermography, heavy metal testing, tumor marker evaluation (i.e how fast are the tumors growing and likelihood for them to mestasize), food sensitivity, darkfield (live blood analysis) and a bunch of other tests. So far the thermography came back and shows a slight improvement from last time. It still shows that lymphatic system is sluggish but other areas that were compromised are better. Im awaiting the other results. 

intravenous o2 and infusion

Out of no where I began having this horrid tooth pain which went from 0 to 1000 overnight. It winds up that I have an abcess and have to have my tooth extracted. I asked if it was a conicidence that this tooth was fine and then strated up as soon as I came back for treatment. My Dr. explained that theoretically it could be from all the treatments I was getting in combination with my weak immune system. Due to having an infection in my sinuses and my mouth, I have to wait till next week to have the tooth extracted to give the infection time to clear. If not, the infection will have risk to effect my bone and go into my blood. The dentists here also practice biologically and they do things MUCH differently then the states. This would normally be considered a root canal but since they think those are toxic and extremely harmful to the body systemically, they remove the tooth, and the dead root and then will replace in 6 months or so once the bone heals.  Sounds fun huh? So for now I have to tolerate the pain and await my extraction on Tuesday of next week. 

I also have been having plenty of visits with my doctors here, Dr. Rau and Dr. Pleus. Both doctors are great, each offering a different angle yet coninciding with one another. Dr. Rau injects me with fresh cell which is basically to boost my immune system and regenerate areas that need some loving. It is similar to stem cell transplant but very different at the same time. It creeped me out at first, being that it is fresh cells from organic livestock, but after last visit I felt a big difference and feels it has helped me a great deal. 

Dr. Rau also injects the tumor in my armpit and the craziest thing happened!!! He went to inject it with his cocktail of mistletoe and low dose chemo and in doing so a bunch of blood began to come out. He sucked out alot of blood from the lump and it became smaller before his eyes. This means that the tumor was filled with blood which according to Dr. Rau means that the cancer was breaking up. Dr. Rau explained that once internal tumors begin to hemorrhage it is a sign that they are breaking up and basically dissipating. Dr. Rau wanted to run the blood that he drained out to  test for cancer cells but due to it the syringe first having the medicinal cocktail in it the test would have not been accurate.  Its hard to know whats going on regarding the tumor in my armpit as it looks like i have a huge welt under there and it is SUPER swollen from the injection. The blood continued draining leaving lots of blood under my skin ("red and blue"). I will continue to get daily injections into the tumor and once the swelling begins to calm down we will see more of whats going on. However, according to Dr. Rau he says its looking good and he thinks that it is dying.  Lets pray that he is right!!!


There is much more to write but for now that is enough. I will update more as results from all my tests return and as the treatments progress. Im happy to be here and am trying to use this time to figure out how I will make all those changes necessary in my life to enjoy and live without being so focused on the cancer life. Yes, as I already mentioned all that I do is crucial in my healing but its time that I live and have fun. Im learning to tackle that much needed balance and I WILL suceeed. Im taking this time to concentrate on focusing on my body and getting better so I could go home and be with Mike and our family and friends to have an awesome summer.


LoVe, PeaCe, and StRenGth,

Lisa

Where is that balance?

Wow, exactly a month from my last post. It amazing how time flies by. I have been wanting to write but quite honestly I just couldn't. You know when your in one of those "I just don't feel like doing anything" moods? Well that's where I was. I've been overwhelmed with life in general and all the steep climbs up all these damn hills. Where are the valleys? I would love if I was led to those valleys and I could have a lull in all this craziness for once.

Basically, I've been doing a lot of thinking and my last couple of years have been lost, lost in this journey of fighting stage IV melanoma holistically. I have NO regrets and am happy that I chose the holistic route but damn is it ALOT of work. The constant need to keep up with the regimen, the research, the dr appointments, the research, the health consults, the research, resting, the shopping and food preparation, and trying to keep the stress level down. However, I became to resent it a bit because it took away from the normalcy that I used to have. Thats pleasure of just going about a day without thinking about survival and not being deprived at social events, and just living. My life became about the cancer and curing myself. Yes, it needed to be in order for me to jump start these cells into transforming and to ensure my life but now its time to find the balance.

A balance of maintaining the holistic lifestyle and keeping up with all I have to do for my health but still enjoying life and not allowing cancer to consume my every thought. I mean, honestly I did do things and hang out with family and friends. Its not like it was always about the cancer externally or in the view of others but internally it was constant. Most of my thought were consumed by it. I would get a thought and I would have to immediately research it. I guess it could be seen as a good thing but all the energy put toward surviving takes away from living. If i wasn't at the doctor or work, i was researching or blogging (caringbridge) and the extra time I did have was for resting and doing the other stuff in my life that needed to get done. In trying to find that balance, I began slipping. Eating things I shouldn't and becoming resentful of losing the last two/three years of my life to this battle. Hence the reason, I have not been blogging as much. I have been trying to focus on this transition period in my life and figuring out whats next and where I am headed. I don't know it was almost like a safety net remaining so enmeshed in it all. It was constant reassurance of the path being the right one and the support was encouraging and motivating. But people's lifes go on and the shock factor of me having cancer subsides and its presence little by little dissipates. For me though it was still very much there and I realized that its time to move on. Move on and live my life without always focusing on the cancer. This is quite a challenge but it needs to be done. Given that I know Im on the right track and Im at peace with the fact that I know I will be fine it could totally be done.

I have been figuring out how I could continue giving this holistic route my all yet enjoying life without giving it up to this very involved health regimen. With working full time thrown into the mix it has been tricky to balance it all. Luckily most of it has became second nature. My diet is pretty much habit now (except when I slip and its that much harder to get back on track). So is taking all my medication, herbs, shots, and medicinal drinks. The daily enemas and the weekly vitamin infusions are habitual too. I need to be better with my daily epson salt baths (to draw out all the heavy metals) and with a daily exercise regimen. I also need to clear this head of mine and meditate and try and find that internal peace. Most importantly, I have to treasure all those amazing relationships in my life and spend time with those people that mean the world to me.

Anyways, medically I am doing okay. I could be better. I have been having sharp pains and not such great symptoms. Who knows the reasoning for this pain. Could it be from the overwhelming stress? From the half marathon that I ran recently? could it be a sign that my body is working overtime to kill off my remaining tumors (spleen / liver)?

Fortunately I leave on June 3rd to go back to Switzerland to the Paracelsus Klinik. For those of you who have not read those posts, it is a klinik that offers biologically treatment and treats the body as a whole and not the disease/cancer. Last time I had great results from there and I'm eager to see how this body of mine is doing this time around. I look forward to all the goodness that will be given to my system when Im there.

Peace, love, & smiles,

Dont always believe what "they" tell you!!

 As mentioned in earlier posts, a big part of my journey has been the Cellect and the creator of this amazing supplement, Fred. Fred is an incredible individual who has more intelligence than anyone else I have ever had the opportunity to meet. He is extremely intelligent and an interesting character. If you know anyone going through any life threatening condition such as cancer, MS, aids,alzhemiers, fibromyalgia, and other conditions such as ADHD and Down Syndrome I suggest you have them make an appointment to meet with him as soon as possible. He does not charge to meet with you. Between his incredible knowledge, his detailed stories about patients stories, and his corny jokes you will find yourself spending over two hours, maybe even three talking to him. You leave there with your head a little discombobulated since Fred's Einstein's qualities make him bounce around alot from topic to topic.But you have such an incredible feeling of hopefulness and motivation when you leave there it is amazing. Can you imagine? He gives that much of his time for free? I dont know how much longer he could pull it off considering cellect is getting more and more known and is now being sold not only in the US but in other countries. Its only a matter of time that he wont be able to pull it all off but who knows..... he is so dedicated and driven that he would probably give up his nights sleep just to help whoever he needs to.

Anyways, My parents and I went to meet with him last week in his Port Jefferson office. Since I no longer see any oncologists anymore and read my results myself (believe me its not that hard to "decode"), I always like to make an appointment with Fred so his extremely intelligent self could tell me whats going on in my body. He gave me a run down on the lingo used in the reports..... literally we went over word by word.

As for the right hip bone and the left hip, he said that both of these have low SUV (sugar uptake value) and nothing corresponding on the ct scan (no tumors or mass)  which means that it is inflammation of some kind and not cancer. He explained that concerning SUV's are from 11 and above (except in the spleen as that naturally has a high SUV).

As for the liver, where in my scan before last they noted a tumor and now they cant see anything, Fred explained that the SUV is still high however there is no longer a mass present. He said that this means that the liver is breaking down the cancer cells. Go liver!!! It is obviously working since there is no more mass. But of course the report read that I should have another scan done and contributed the disappearance of the mass to them not injecting me with contrast. Oh really? So then why last time when I was not injected with contrast did the mass show up in my liver?

The pancreas in the scan was noted for suspicious of metastasis and that I should follow up with an MRI. Fred explained that there is low SUV and no mass, which again means inflammation of some kind. He said this could depend on something I ate or that my pancreas is working hard. Again.....no cancer.

Lastly, all the lymph nodes (armpit and on trachea) got smaller. Fred explained that enlarged lymph nodes are NOT always cancer!!. He said this happens when the body is under any stress where it is trying to rid the body of garbage. It makes complete sense....if I eat something I shouldn't my swollen lymph nodes get larger in size like they are trying to get rid of the crap I ate. But again.....these reports claim that the lymph node itself is cancerous and they indicate at times that they should be taken out. Oh that makes complete sense? Lets remove what helps your body get rid of all its crap and toxins so then you are at more risk of developing cancer or some other life threatening disease.

It frustrates me how they are treating the "spots" that light up on these stupid scans rather than the whole body. Look at me for example. I had one enlarged lymph node in the beginning of this annoying freaken journey and they suggested a lymph node dissection and radiation (leaving me with horrid frozen shoulder and constant swelling). So they remove the lymph node and tell me Im clear of cancer....bullshit!!! A year later it returned with a vengeance. Why? because they did not treat the cancer source they treated a lymph node that was trying to rid my body of the cancer. So after taking interferon, which completely zapped my immune system and getting over 18 lymph nodes (the very thing that clears our body of unwanted cells) removed, it is no surprise the cancer came back with a vengeance.  Also, Fred pointed out an interesting yet very disturbing fact, the latest trial I did, Ipilimumab, effects among many other things both the liver, the pancreas, and causes sclerosis (thickening of tissue). Interesting....could that possibly be the reason I had "activity" in my pancreas on my last scan?  One will never know but all I know is that you would be completely shocked if you researched and actually looked further into what your doctors suggest. Especially prescription meds....yes some are needed but for the most part these drugs are causing some serious stress to the body and it makes your system as a whole worse off then when you started. It sounds too simple and like a bunch of BS, but truth is people are just deficient of essential vitamins and mineral that they are not getting from the standard american diet. Not to mention, vitamin D deficient. We get vitamin D from the sun and people these days are so damn busy and on the run all the time that they don't get enough vitamin D from being outside. Everyone should get their vitamin D checked!! Lack of vitamin D is the culprit of many ailments, including cancer!!! This deserves its own post!!

Ugh, If I just knew what I know now then. I would have done things completely different. Whatever...at least I am doing it now and it is working :)

In the reports on my last scan they must have wrote three times "suspicious for metastasis." Its enough to scare the crap out of you....but I have learned the lingo in these reports and have trained myself not to freak out. Unfortunately, its just a ploy to scare patients into more treatments within the billion dollar medical world.  I truly believe Dr's and those who write the results for these labs are not at fault and they go in the field for good reasons (well most of them) but bottom line whoever is training them and making the curriculum for all these places are the dogs!!! They don't care about our well being...they just want to push us into more and more drugs. It just dehilibates the body more and more and crushes the bodies natural ability to heal itself.

All of this now fascinates me so much that I wish I had all day everyday to research and just learn more and more about how the body works and how corrupt the medical and big pharma are. I am looking into several intense education programs for the future and hopefully I could continue following this path wherever it takes me. For starters, I will be joining the team at Organic Corner, a new health food market/juice bar in Massapequa. I will work a couple of hours a week and the plan is for me to eventually do lectures/talks about my story to other people suffering with cancer or other serious illnesses every couple of weeks or so.

Since my oncologist from Sloan does me the "favor" of ordering my pet scans despite ever seeing him anymore, he gets a copy of the results. His secretary called me to "touch base." I gave her a very brief explanation of what I've been doing and then she said that the doctor wanted her to tell me that he is concerned because my results are not looking good. She explained that everything has gotten larger. When I questioned what she was talking about and pointed out that all my "spots" from my previous scan have disappeared or decreased in size this last scan, she said that she herself did not look at it and that she was just relaying the doctor's message. In a sweet calm voice I told her to thank the doctor for his concern but that he should read it again as he seemed to not read it accurately. They just don't want to accept it.....I get it though....basically it would undermine their whole profession and they simply are not allowed to talk about any "natural" treatments. Yup, its actually a strict rule in prestigious places such as Sloan Kettering. It makes me sick......... I would love to see what treatment route these oncologists would take if they were diagnosed.....

So needless to say, you really cant trust your doctors. There are many out there that know their stuff and are brilliant but it comes down to $$$$$. The doctors are driven by what the pharmaceutical companies are pushing on them. You cant blame them, they went to school for a million years, dedicated their lives to the medical field and are naturally going to stand by what they learned. If you just do a little research and step outside the box you will see that the reality is they are doing more bad to our body than good. I know a lot of what I write is controversial and I apologize if I offend anyone but its only a matter of time that people are going to know who they could really trust...and it wont be their traditional doctors.

Strength, Peace, & Love,

xoxo

Lisa

Is this a little light I see?

 I know I havent written in a while, things have been rough on this end.  I have been in a f**k everything mood. Just sick of the motions of cancer and all the bullshit that comes with it. Im sick of how it effects my life and those close to me.  I am ready to move on. I've been focusing on how to balance the life of cancer and having more productive days in regards to all the other stuff I have to do on a daily basis.

I have so much to write on my blog that I am busting at the seams. Lots of informative information to help others with not only cancer but other serious conditions. Unfortunatley, now I have many other areas of my life to focus on so I will blog as time allows.

To add a little hope and shine to my life I recently got great news. I had my pet scan on Wednesday and luckily I already got the  results. All my known tumors and enlarged lymph nodes have decreased in size. At this point, I have a spot on my spleen and two enlarged lymph nodes (one by my trachea and one in my armpit). The spot on my liver is unclear at this point as I did not have contrast with the pet scan. In my head though if they cant see it even wthout the contrast it must be smaller or gone. Who knows though....I have to look into it further. What was once noted as hip cancer is now being noted as sclerosis (thickening). The three tumors on my lung continue to be nonexistent!!!

With any of these tests comes something that needs to be looked into further. The pet scan report stated that I have hypermetabolic activity in my pancreas and my right leg bone. This is an indication that they use to determine if someone has metatasis, however it does not necessarily indicate cancer. It could be inflammation or just general irritation. To be honest I am not that worried because all the other areas have decreased in size and I am not experiencing any pain. Also, with all the detoxing and diet changes I am doing the pancreas is probably just "lighting" up because it is undergoing some healthy changes. As far as my leg bone.....I have been training for the half marathon (on May 1st) so it can just be some inflammation from running. I will have follow up on both of these by having an MRI sometime in the next two weeks. This will better determine what is going on. However, there are no new tumors so that is HUGE!!!! Especially given the fact that I have been just doing natural and biological treatments. See?.....anything is possible. Sometimes you just have to be your own doctor.  Its worth doing all that extra research and thinking and stepping outside of the box.

It looks like it is going to be a slow road until I am NED (no evidence of disease) but it looks like I am going in the right direction   :)


Peace, Love, and Strength,

LiSa

Wonder Woman

I've been thinking about it and I wish I had some sort of super power. This health stuff is alot of work and it becomes what you eat live and breathe! Reality is I dont have a super power and I dont think my wish will be granted so its up to me to keep on developing my own set of powers and keep the fight strong.

 Im relieved that we are now in March. The month of February for me is treacherous. February 2009 I found out the melanoma was in my lymph node and February 2010 I found out it metastasized. Given the fun that comes after crappy news like this, the months of March were typically the decision making month (what non-promising treatment option should I partake in?) and the month of April and May was when I was actually experiencing the treatments. So needless to say this time of year shakes me up a bit. I have to say though this year is different. I no longer have that fear of my own mortality. I'm at a place where I am focusing on all the positive and what I have to be grateful for rather than all the what ifs and the holy shits that come along with cancer. I don't know why I am at this place but I'm not going to question it so much and I am just going to enjoy it and hope it lasts. For one thing having more positive news from my trip in Switzerland (the lymph node decreased considerably and my blood and other cancer markers are not typical of cancer patients) helped me a lot. They also showed, through blood work, that my diet is good which means that all my hard work is paying off.

I also feel better than I ever have in my life. I feel that my reset button was pressed as I am more enlightened and happier than ever. With the diet and all the vitamins they are pumping in me on a weekly basis I feel great. I don't know..... things change alot when you are going through the motions of cancer. Your outlook on life changes, priorities change. Life becomes about being happy and not focusing on the petty crap. I had to get used to putting myself first, something I never did. I would always do for others before myself but I learned that in order to survive I have to keep up with my very strict and time consuming health regimen.

This whole journey also changes relationships, some strengthen and some weaken. This is hard because those relationships that weaken you feel such a loss and so much pain and guilt comes along with it. I cant possibly stay in touch and be as close as I was with everybody due to the fact that the health regimen is so time consuming and intense. Then some people just are too negative and you realize they are too toxic to be around and it is better to keep them at a distance. Unfortunately for me, maybe not the cancer per say, but the lifestyle that comes with it, is now my life. It has to be in order to survive. When you are being your own doctor and treating yourself with quality vitamins and food and maintaining your stress levels to survive, you need to stay focused and control so many aspects. Since I picked the all natural biological route its different from conventional. You are not relying on the doctor or the clinical trial or the chemo ....you are relying on you and what you are putting into your body. When I took on this approach I knew that the responsibility was going to be on me and that ultimately it was up to me if I was going to make the cancer go away or if I was going to let it take over. 

I do my best with keeping up with my regimen and not eating things I'm not supposed to but I have my moments of weakness where I slip. I do my best with keeping in touch and spending time with all those people that mean alot to me but honestly I just don't have enough time to pull it all off. I do my best to have my head at work when I'm with the boys I work with but I cant help for my mind to wander about all the other crap I have to do when I leave work. I do my best with telling my main support team how much I appreciate all they do for me and how much I love them but do I really get it across? But the truth is as much as I try and use all my skills to the best of my abilty, I'm not perfect....I'm not Wonder Woman! But I am one strong cookie who will use all my "super powers" to continue changing the terrain and reparing each cell one by one!!! Only problem is the place where I started will no longer be a place I visit again. Somethings changed for the better others things changed that I will miss but it is what it is.

LoVe, PeAcE, and StRenGtH,

LiSa